Letter to My Younger Self - Luul Hussein

Elmimag is requesting some of our writers, activist and people in the Somali community to write a letter to their younger selves. If you want to get involved, send in your letter to elmimagazine@gmail.com. Here is our first letter by the talented Luul Hussein


Dear Luul,

You’re 22 now and have finally learnt that no one can love you more than you love yourself. Yes you’re still vain, but now you’re a size 12 and genuinely still believe that even Beyonce can’t hold a candle to you. At least you’re not insecure. At least you’re happy with your body and the love handles that you can never seem to get rid of whenever you catch your reflection. Stop worrying about your size, you’ll learn to love it, you’ll learn that you don’t need people to evaluate your worth. Besides there are more important things to worry about. You are so much more than your waist line. You’re black, you’re fat and you’re beautiful, inside and out.

You’re 22 now and you’re intelligent.  Don’t be afraid to be smart because everyone says it isn’t cool, trust me, dumbing yourself down to fit in with others only makes you a fool. Now you lose yourself in books, you know a little about a lot and still want to know more. Don’t worry about not knowing what to do with your life, it’ll come to you in Mr Blades History lesson at fifth period. Jot down all your thoughts and never stop writing, it’ll land you a scholarship and you’ll finally get published. It’s your creativity that will lead you to what you love.

Don’t worry about your anxiety (pun intended). Your friends and family WILL help you through it, whether they know it or not. Gradually over the years, panic attacks will be a thing of the past, it won’t run your life once you understand that it’s out of your control. Now you’re confident and smash presentations and public speeches. You’re not afraid to speak your mind and people want to listen to what you have to say. Don’t worry about the little hiccups, life goes on.

When you turn 17 you’ll make the biggest decision of your life. You’ll finally understand it and feel brave enough to own it. You’ll discover the hijab. You’ll wear it like a cape and be fearless, you’ll be strong, you’ll be empowered and you’ll be proud to be a Muslim girl. It’s not just a cloth on your head, it’s become ingrained in your identity, and it’s the reason why you’ve become the person that you are today. However, there’ll be a ‘camel hump’ trend that you’ll follow which in hindsight is absolutely hideous. Please avoid this. Seriously, it’s not cute.

Don’t worry about not being able to speak Somali, it doesn’t define you or take away from your ‘Somaliness’. At some point, you’ll discover that you are a Glomad. You belong to the world, take something from each culture and make it your own.

Oh and by the way, wr1t1ng l1k3 th15 w1ll n3v3r 83 c%l. 3V3R.

Love,

Your Older Self.

By Luul Hussein


4 comments:

  1. thats beautiful

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